So maybe I'm the only one...

Confused and Possibly Naive Soapbox: on.

So...I guess it's possible that I'm the only one who feels his way. I could be. I doubt it. But maybe I'm the only one who's weird enough to say it out loud. I've always been a little off, so I guess I'll go ahead and just admit it:

I did not throw a party Sunday night.

That's right. Sunday evening, when I heard the news of Bin Laden's death, I did not wrap myself in a flag, take to the streets, and begin chanting pro-American sentiments with the rest of the horde.

Was I relieved at the news? Admittedly, yes.

Was I worried about retaliation? Just a tad.

Was I disgusted by the immediate response? Hay-ell yeah.

Ten years ago, I joined the rest of America in horror-struck fascination as we watched the towers crumble before our eyes. The very idea that I was watching in real time and living color the deaths of thousands of people gave me the first taste of shock and awe, coupled with not a tiny bit of nausea. I found it impossible to separate the massive loss of life from what had to be an even bigger tragedy: the fact that it was a statistical probability that many of those people hadn't yet accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior and had now lost their chance to understand God's real love and sacrifice for them. What a massive failure on all of our parts: 3000 people gone in the blink of an eye, 3000 souls potentially lost forever. 3000 misses. It was horrifying. Disgusting. Humbling.

It only got worse. In the following days we were treated to not only incessant replays of the horror, but also to feed after feed of crowds of radical Muslims dancing in the streets, shouting and singing with jubilation about the suffering inflicted on America. This was even more disgusting. What kinds of animals did these people have to be, I thought to myself, that they could rejoice in the devastation of so many people? Hadn't they ever lost a loved one? Didn't they know that some kinds of human suffering were universal? Couldn't they imagine and sympathize with the pain that individuals must be feeling? Didn't they as members of the human race have even a tiny bit of empathy? What monsters must these people be?

And then Sunday night I saw it again, only in my own backyard. Dancing in the streets. Jubilation over loss of life. "Enlghtened" Americans reveling in the loss of human life. Proud, boisterous celebration from people who had absolutely no hand in this man's death yet were staking their claim in victory over one they believed had no right to live.

Now I know what you're thinking: it's totally different. This was justified joy over the death of a man who stole thousands of lives and committed countless heinous acts of the devil in the name of God. He didn't deserve to live. He needed to pay for his crimes. Bin Laden was a disgusting person, not even fit to be called human. Why should we be anything but elated that he's gone for good? This was not death, this was justice.

Fine. I admit it. I'm glad he's gone. But I cannot, absolutely cannot believe that the death of a person- any person- is cause for celebration. Especially for a soul so clearly lost as this man was! As far as misguided fools are concerned, this guy was clearly perched at the top of the totem pole. Even those who share his religion admit that. But imagine... just imagine... what if this man had woken up? What if one day something had sparked a realization in his brain, triggered a hint of truth, appealed to the tiny piece left in his soul that yearned for good? What if he had come around to a sane way of thinking, left his life of terrorism, repented, turned to God, and willingly presented himself to the world for restitution? Can you imagine the party going on in Heaven if that had happened? After all, Jesus came to save ALL people, not just those of us who live a supposed lily-white suburban lifestyle. What a victory that would have been for Him to have won back the soul of one who had wandered so far astray!

I know that the idea of Bin Laden being greeted by angels and walking streets of gold with Jesus is, to be honest, rather off-putting. But imagine this: you're a parent. You have an errant child. Despite all that you've done to raise this kid, as an adult they've turned to a life that spirals them downwards into misery and causes destruction to others wherever they go. No, you haven't raised a radical terrorist, but your offspring is still nothing to write home about. Suddenly, you receive news that this kid of yours has finally gone and done it- killed themselves with a drug overdose or gang shootout or some other such nastiness. Would you say to yourself, "Thank goodness that's over, that kid needed to die to spare the world any more pain!" Of course you wouldn't. As a parent, you would mourn the loss of your child. You would weep for the fact that he never understood the truth of Jesus love and redemption. You would give anything for just one more day with your bad boy so that you could try one more time to bring him back to the fold.

There isn't anything on this earth that God didn't create. Not one thing. Not one person. Everything on this earth is His and His alone. Do you think that God and the angels are popping corks over the eternal loss of one of His children? In. Sane. I just can't believe that the same God who gave Himself for me, for pathetic, miserable, wretched, sin-filled and undeserving me, would consider any one person (no matter how horrible the rest of the world may think they are) a total loss and beyond the reach of His love. It's just impossible. If God wants me, he wanted Osama. And I believe He's regretting the final loss of his soul.

Now, don't misunderstand me. I don't pretend not to be relieved that the threat of Bin Laden is removed from us forever. I'm certainly glad that his reign of terror is over. But I don't for a minute believe that by eliminating him we have eliminated evil. To believe that Satan and all his little helpers are cowering in fear of Big Strong America is a pretty arrogant of us, don't you think? So I'm just trying not to delight in the fact that justice was done in taking Bin Laden's life.

Yes, you read that right. Justice was done. I didn't say that Bin Laden should continue to run wild and free and destroy more of God's creation; how stupid would I have to be to believe that? God is indeed a loving God, but He is also a God of justice. He uses His creation all the time to demonstrate this. To believe that God wanted Bin Laden to continue to kill innocents is an absolutely ridiculous notion. God had His hand in this operation just as surely as He took down the Egyptians in the Red Sea. But: I do not believe that God delighted in the loss of life then, and I don't believe that He does now. I just can't.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Slightly More Satisfied Soapbox: off.