Summer Part Five- Saiz's visit

The day after Dad, Deanie, and Lisa headed back to Indiana, more guests arrived! This was a quickie visit, but it was much anticipated on my part. My friend Brandon was being transferred from Maine to Alaska. He and his family decided to be brave, get in a car, and drive all the way across the US and Canada, stopping at various friends and relatives all along the way. Brandon and I go all the way back to Taylor Fort Wayne, but this would be the first time we had ever met his wife or his three little girls. I was stoked. I was ready. I’ve been a faithful follower of Mary’s blog for years, and even though we’d never met I decided I liked her a whole darn lot, and their little girls are adorable. I decided I liked them a whole darn lot, too, and set out to make sure they liked me, too. I’m not sure why, but for some reason getting these children to like me became the most urgent of missions. I think I have a problem.

But come on... who wouldn't love these girls? And who wouldn't agree that the world could stop spinning only for a single smile from them? I dare you to resist.

Now, everybody knows that we have no kids, rather, we endeavor to spoil the dog rotten. Everybody who has been to our house knows that it’s not exactly kid-mecca. I mean, I’ve got some of my old toys upstairs, but they’re mostly goofy and un-playable-with, and there’s a Wii and a movie room, but will that really entertain three little girls? I figured, probably not. I only had one thing left to bribe their affections with: food. It’ll work. They’ll love me.

Now, Brandon is a chef in the US Coast Guard, and I have seen record of many excellent meals that Mary has cooked for the girls. My idea of cooking is adding water to the box. I wasn’t going to impress anybody with that. And I doubted that people with single-digit ages were really going to enjoy Andy and I’s classic death-by-garlic pasta. So I stocked the cupboards with what I knew were their favorite snacks and planned a couple kid-friendly options for dinner. Oh, yeah, this was going to work. They’ll love me.

The whole family arrived. Mary was as great as I had imagined. The girls were as adorable as I had imagined. Andy was as nervous as I imagined. And unfortunately, Caleb was as excited as I imagined. The girls were shy for about twelve seconds, and then Caleb happened. His usual greeting of hihowyoudoinggreattomeetyoudon’tyoulovemeIloveyouletmelickletmejumplovemelovemelovemeIloveyouwannaplaypleaselet’splayIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou broke the ice. And the games began. Caleb saves the day. Good dog. He’ll make ‘em love me.

We made our own pizzas for dinner and the girls played with Caleb. They discovered my old Strawberry Shortcakes upstairs and played with Caleb. They took some baths and showers and played with Caleb. Their cute little faces melted even Andy’s kid-fearing resolve, and they played with Caleb. Abigail played the piano, Audrey played with Caleb, and Anna walked around being cute. Then they traded jobs for a while, alternating cuteness with playing with the dog and toys, basically just being cute the whole time. In case you couldn’t tell, I was charmed. So was Caleb. At one point, as Caleb lay on the floor panting in exhaustion from all the running, jumping, fetching, tugging, rolling, scratching, and chasing, the girls turned those big sad eyes on me and cried, “Make him play! Make him play!” Poor Caleb, he wanted to play so bad... but he had found his match. Nevertheless, I figured I had it in the bag. They were gonna love me.

At bedtime, I realized I had made a mistake… we only had two “beds” for the girls to sleep in, so somebody had to share. Whoops. Strike one. But Caleb trotted in and flopped down between the two girls forced to share the bed… score. He didn’t stay there, but the magic was worked. Happy girls again. Three tired girls and a tired doggie finally fell asleep. Inexplicably, Brandon, Mary, Andy and I spent the rest of the evening watching movie previews on TV. I’m not sure how that happened or why we decided this was the best way to entertain ourselves for the only four hours that we had to spend together in three years, but there it is. I think we were too tired to do anything else. I even left the War cards in the cupboard.

At around 2:30 in the morning, I heard the door to our bedroom open and shut. Naturally, I sat straight up, terrified, and gasped to Andy, “What was that?!” He didn’t even move. A muffled voice from his side of the bed said, “Somebody tried to come in.” Well, great. Thanks. Because it’s the most normal thing in the world for someone to just walk in and out of our bedroom in the middle of the night, huh? I figured I was crazy and Andy was lazy and I tried to go back to sleep. Then the door handle turned again, and I heard the unmistakable sound of crying in the hall. Noooo!!! Somebody’s unhappy, and we can’t be unhappy at Jozi’s house! I shot out of bed and ran to the door, where Anna was wandering the halls sobbing. Imagine this, only sad:

I mean, come on! Cute little round face surrounded with bright red curls, little bottom lip sticking out, big Bambi eyes filled with tears. I wanted to say, “Awwwww…” but I restrained myself. Instead, I managed, “What’s wrong, sweetie?”

Shuddering sobs.

“Are you scared?”

Duh. Stupid woman I don’t even know is towering over me in a hallway I don’t recognize. Nod. Sniff. Shudder.

I reach out my hand, which is melting quickly just like the rest of me. “Should we go get a drink of water?”

Sniff. Shudder. Nod. Hand takes mine. Shudder. “And I have to go potty.”

Well, duh. What kind of an idiot am I, offering a four-year-old a glass of water in the middle of the night? This is only going to make things worse. But our plan has been outlined, so we head downstairs. On the landing I peek at the door of Brandon and Mary’s bedroom, carefully cracked so the girls could find them if they needed them in the middle of the night. It is dark. Peaceful. Lucky stiffs. I guess they have practice at sleeping through the noise of hysterical children. Or maybe they put in earplugs so they could have a peaceful night knowing the B team was on alert. Didn’t matter- I was so charmed I would have taken Anna for ice cream if something was open at 2:30.

After bathroom and drinks, we headed back upstairs. I was certain I was going to be awakened in another hour or two for another trip to the bathroom, but who cares? I’m in love with this cute little girl. I deposited her back into bed, noticing that Abby had moved from the mattress to the floor and was using the mattress for a pillow. Strike two. But at least I scored with Anna, right? I mean, rescued in the middle of the night, happily tucked back in… She’ll love me.

In the morning, after Caleb decided to give everybody the wet-nose alarm at around 7, we chowed through donuts and cereal for breakfast. (Notice that The Donut Incident just continues.) The girls saw my glass cereal bowls. “We usually have it in plastic bowls,” they informed me. Strike three. But wait! Jozi saves the day! I have plastic bowls. “You mean like this?” I produced brightly colored Tupperware bowls. Eyes light up. “Yeah!” Score. Oh yeah. They’ll love me.

After a morning of playing with the dolls (“They’re going to a party!”) and playing with Caleb (“Make him play! Make him play!”) and to be honest… who knows what else, I was in a little bit of a daze after our late night and midnight wanderings, the car was packed up and Brandon and Mary were ready for the rest of their road trip. The girls, however, were not. Mary said, “All right, girls, time to say goodbye.”

And…SCORE!

Protests abounded. Sobs arose. Wails filled the air. “Nooooo!” “I don’t want to go!” “Can’t we stay?” “Not yet!” “Noooo!!!”

Oh, YEAH! It worked! They love me! For years the girls will remember this fun night in Oregon, they’ll love their Honorary Aunt Jozi, and it will be the most anticipated stop on their next road trip! Forget waterfalls, horses, museums, all the other fun stuff, we love Aunt Jozi! Woo hoo!

Mary is unyielding. “No, girls, it’s time to go. Say goodbye to Caleb.”

Sob. Sob. Shudder. Wail. Desperate gazing upon the fuzzbucket. “Goodbyyyyyyyyye, Caleb!” Hug, pet, scratch, cry, wail, sob.

Oh, yeah, Caleb saved the day. Way to come through, Fuzzy! You made ‘em love Aunt Jozi!

Poor Mary. They’re still not in the car. “Say goodbye to Jozi, girls.”

Sob. Sniff. Confused look. “Who’s Jozi?”

Annnnnnnnd… pop. There goes my balloon.

Stupid dog. Stole the show. Dumb big furry Muppet.

And I’m out.

But I am the first to admit: I totally deserved that. Like I said… I think I have a problem.

And just for the record, Brandon, Mary, and the girls- please come back and visit us, and often! I promise not to bribe you with food or show you movie previews all night long.

But we just might have to play War.

I’ve definitely got a problem.